Illuminating the Truth! Modern Ideologies are leading people away from their values. Jewish Family Forever is here to help.
Encouraging Torah traditional heterosexual marriage.
If I have had same sex urges or attractions, am I inherently gay? ~ There is nothing necessarily unusual or abnormal about having same-sex feelings, attraction, urges and relationships. It is not at all the case that people attracted to the same-sex are inherently different or “gay”. Two people of the same sex, for example, can become close friends. If the boundaries between them are increasingly relaxed, attraction can also increase. Sexual energy might automatically start to flow between them. When these feelings are followed and not managed, physical and sexual intimacy can easily unfold. Once a sexual relationship begins, it creates a whole new level of intimate bonding. The two people can become emotionally and physically attached to one another, even if they know that their relationship isn’t practical or long term. This is why it is important for members of the same sex to maintain some level of emotional and physical separation from one another even if they are close friends. Most people do this naturally and seamlessly on their own, without having to be explicitly taught. But our culture has turned same-sex relationships from "the love that dare not speak its name", to "the love that is virtuous to pursue", causing the larger boundaries and taboos of society to collapse. Individuals now must be more careful with their behavior than ever before. For example, modesty in dress, speech and behavior is so important, even in all girls or all boys setting. Being playful and physically affectionate with one another is fine. But know how easily this can activate sexual energy and feel more flirtatious and seductive. Girls cuddling together used to be normative. Now it may be laced with possibility. Its normal and okay for guys ofte hug one another as a gesture of hello and goodbye. But here too, hugs can just be hugs or they can subtly communcate something more if they are prolonged or full-on body hugs. We have to be more mindful nowadays. If attractions and feelings do develop between friends, people can manage those feelings by spending less alone time together, creating more distance between them, inviting more friends into their inner circle and propping up certain boundaries so that they are not prone to following a physical or sexual urge.
If I don’t have "street lust” for the opposite sex, am I inherently gay? ~ Not all people are supposed to feel excited and aroused by the idea of being with the opposite sex, especially when they haven’t yet had a rewarding or erotic experience. Not everyone has what’s called “street-lust” where they are always on the lookout for attractive members of the opposite sex. When beginning a new intimate relationship, humans are not supposed to feel immediate lust and arousal for one another—unless they are meeting for the express purpose of having a sexual encounter. In fact, lots of people feel anxious, uncomfortable, unnatural and turned off when they try to find an opposite sex partner. But this doesn’t mean that they won’t find happiness and the right partner if they keep working on this and keep looking. In healthy intimate relationships, attraction and desire is sparked by qualities like personality chemistry, playfulness, emotional bonding and a desire to share one’s life and one’s feelings with the other person. Lots of people have recurring sexual fantasies and arousal-seeking patterns for specific types of people. But these are not accurate indicators of who we are or what kinds of intimate relationships we are capable of having and enjoying. Just because we develop romantic or sexual feelings with one gender, sexual act or type of person, doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to enjoy intimacy with the other gender or with a different type of person or sexual act If people are preoccupied or compulsively addicted to specific kinds of fantasies, whether for the same-sex or opposite sex, there are effective therapy approaches that can help them gain understanding and control and that won’t focus on categorizing or labeling them based on the object of their interests.
Attraction, lust & identity: a torah and scientific approach
A Virtual Educational Event Hosted by Jewish Family Forever / Featured Presenter: Dr. Koby Frances
Most observant Jews are confused when they see the news of an Orthodox-ordained Rabbi celebrating LGBTQ self-identifying individuals. Some may begin to wonder about the truth of Torah. If the Torah is demanding the impossible of a person in this situation, where else might the Torah be demanding the impossible? What else might soon be minimized or dismissed by respected voices? What does such widespread celebration mean for our respect for traditional marriage?
Today many if not most Jews, including observant Jews, have a relative or friend who self-identifies as LGBTQ. Quite a number of liberal Open Orthodox Rabbis (who misled the public when they falsely claimed the title 'Modern Orthodox' years ago in a New York Times article, but are distinctly outside the parameters of true Modern Orthodoxy which is halakhah-based and whose motto is Torah uMadda, Torah and secular studies) have publicly described such personal situations.
